一段不同寻常的母子对话

当您还是孩子的时候，学校里经历了什么紧急性的演习呢？

What emergency drills did you have as you were growing up in school?

火灾演习和龙卷风逃生演习，就这些。那么你能告诉我，在预防枪手袭击演习中，你们需要做什么吗？

Fire drills and tornado drills, and that was it. So can you tell me exactly what happens in active shooter drills?

老师必须把门锁了，把灯关了，然后用大桌子抵着门。当我们第一次演习的时候，我发现老师似乎做得很吃力，所以我觉得我要去帮她。因为假如老师不能在短时间内用桌子抵着门，枪手就能进入室内。

The teacher’s supposed to lock the door, turn the lights off and push this big desk behind the door. And the first time I did an active shooter drill, I saw her having a hard time with it so I decided to come help her because if she doesn’t get the desk on the door in time, the intruder can open it.

然后呢？在你帮忙用桌子抵着门以后，你们应该做什么？

So what do you do next? After you push the table?

全班同学都应该紧贴着后墙站着。但是我决定站在全班同学前面。这样，我就可以为同学们挡着子弹，这样，我的同学们就可以得救了。

The class is supposed to stand on the back wall. But I decided to stand in front of the class because I want to take the bully and save my friends.

你的老师要求你站在全班同学前面吗？

So did your teacher ask you to stand in front of the class?

不是的。我就是觉得，我的生命固然重要，但这就好比说，我一个人可以回家，还是全班22位同学都可以回家（除了我）。

No. My life matters, but, it’s kind of like, there’s one person that can come home to the family, or there can be 22 people that come home to the family.

你能明白为什么我非常难以接受你刚才说的话吗？

Do you know why it’s hard for me to accept that?

嗯，那是因为，我还那么年轻，我不应该就这样放弃生命；这不是我应该担心的问题。

Because I’m such a young age, I shouldn’t really be giving my life up. Like, you shouldn’t have to worry about that.

是的！假如有那么一个时候，我希望你能自私一次，就是这次。我需要你回家！停顿片刻，母亲继续说：“那么，在妈妈恳求你不要去那么做的情况下，你还会站在全班同学面前挡子弹吗？

Right. If there’s any a time that I want you to be selfish, it’s then. I need you to come home. So would you still stand in front of your friends even with me telling you not to?

是的！我明白你想我能平安回家的心情。但是，这不是一件您能帮我做决定的事情；我必须去做这个决定。

Yes. I get that you would want me to come home, but it’s really not a choice that you can make. It’s a choice that I have to make.

我明白现在无论我说什么都不可能改变你的主意，我只希望，这件事永远不要发生。

I see now that there’s nothing I can say that would change your mind. I just hope that it never comes to that.

我明白讨论这个话题会让您难过，可是，这也证明您培养了一个好孩子。

Talking about this makes me feel sad. But you raised a good person.

这就是我一直拒绝和你讨论这个问题的原因。你说的这些话，作为母亲，我实在无言以对。你才十岁啊，十岁的你，连自己的房间都整理不好，而你却要去做这件（我不知道是对还是错）的事情，这就是为什么这样的讨论往往在我们的沉默中无疾而终。因为我首先是你的母亲，我真的不知道还能说什么。

And this is why I can’t have the conversation with you…You keep saying things like that and I’m speechless. You’re 10. And you’re that 10-year-old who doesn’t clean their room, and there is no handbook for this…Because I’m a mother, and I don’t know what to say.